well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
