i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
