is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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