I wannas sexs uuuuu
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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