There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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