Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Someone signed my nipple.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
