it was like having sex with a tree stump
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
