Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
