also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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