Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
My hand turned me down
it glows. i had to have it.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
