Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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