Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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