im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
