she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
did i walk over a car last night?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
