marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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