wakey wakey hands off snakey
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Randomize
