I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Randomize
