we have pet lesbian snakes
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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