I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
we made out on top of his cat.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
