Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
