at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
