I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
