he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
