Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
