would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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