There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
she peed on how many people?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
