I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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