she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
