So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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