Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
