Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
