its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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