I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
