walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
the gays at disneyland are vicious
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
