I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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