How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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