i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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