so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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