Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
