she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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