So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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