Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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