My brain says no but my pants say off.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
