eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
