i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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