My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
