I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Randomize
