My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
