I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
