I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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